Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
home. puking in laundry basket.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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