idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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