So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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