I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
