We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
COCAINE IS GR8
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
