I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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