I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
