first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize