508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Randomize
