How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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