And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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