Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
