u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
