Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
