We tried having a conversation with our noses.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Randomize
