I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
