I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
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