she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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