I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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