theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
