I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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