I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
