I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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