You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
well you can't waste a boner
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
