so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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