Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
