Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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