Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize