Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
