I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
don't judge my taste in strippers
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
