Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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