If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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