I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
