THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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