Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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