Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
