I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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