Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
