Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He shit in the fireplace
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
