i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
