I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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