dude i'm inner monologue high
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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