i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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