my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
