Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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