We're facebook friends in real life
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize