Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
