You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
