A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just made out with a guy for $7.
i would punch a child for taco bell
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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