Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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