Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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