why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
