I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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