haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
