My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Fuck appropriateness.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
