anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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