would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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