Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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