I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You made out with two different species that night
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize