I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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