The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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