I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
