I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
