I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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