I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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