actually, I'm a sock model
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
