I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
