Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
