JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
