He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Randomize
